Why... Family Meeting??
Simon Sinek’s book “Start with Why” is devoted to a core concept which is simple and straightforward: “Great businesses know WHY they’re doing what they’re doing—and they use that mission as their guiding principle. This is also the case with great families who think in multi generational terms about transferring their wealth, and more importantly their values to the next generations. Your WHY is your central belief. It’s the concept that motivates you to get out of bed in the morning. In terms of an organization, it’s the reason you’re in business. The WHY leads to the HOW and WHAT.
Sinek breaks it down to three aspects of WHY:
Defining your Why
Understanding how your Why affects you, your business, your family
Staying focused on your WHY in the long term
In these challenging times perhaps it might be timely to explore your WHY, as it relates to your family, your family business and/or you estate plan. At Family Wealth Coach, helping our business families understand their WHY is central to our planning approach. And one of the tools that we have found to be extremely valuable in this process, and the topic to which this blog is devoted to is...'THE FAMILY MEETING'.
Of course we have many informal “family meetings“ including informal chats over Sunday dinners, around the campfire at the cabin etc. What we are talking about here is different. It is a structured, purposeful, facilitated, meeting with clear agenda items. When done well, these meetings can be transformational. They can add clarity and insight from all stakeholders so that wise informed choices and decisions can be made when weighty issues such as family business transitioning or estate planning is being undertaken.
Structured Family Meetings:
Provide a forum for understanding each others concerns, expectations, and fears
Build trust in each other
Build conflict management skills and reduce conflicts
Build collective decision making
Improve communication among family members
Should be regularly scheduled
"Source: Family Meetings: How to Build a Strong Family and a Stronger Family Business, Aronoff and Ward, 1992"
It is critical to have the Right Facilitator, the Right Agenda, and the Right Questions. We would highly recommend using a third party facilitator initially, who can establish clear rules of engagement, and insure that all the stakeholders are engaged and listened to. Ideally all attendees of the meeting will be interviewed by the facilitator before the family meeting. The purpose of these meetings are to understand the issues that are present, the hopes and fears and dreams of each family member, and to start to construct the meeting agenda. The Ground Rules that need to be established and agreed to at the start of the meeting can be best described as follows...
Responsiblitiy and Respect
Openness
Participation and Privacy
Experimentation
Support
It is important that each participant at the meeting is treated respectfully, listened to, and given an opportunity to share their thoughts in an open and trusting environment. Everyone needs to be drawn into the conversation, and it is encouraged and applauded to experiment and think outside the nine dots to find creative solutions in a collaborative manner. And lastly don’t forget to incorporate some fun activities before, during or after the meeting.
The learning's, observations, and aha’s from the meeting will often guide the agenda for the next meeting. Participants will find comfort in knowing that there are regularly scheduled meetings to look forward to in which there will be the opportunity to share and discuss the weighty issues that arise over time in families and family business.
And you DO NOT need to be a complicated family business or a multi-million dollar family before you consider structured Family Meetings. Any family who cares about each other and wants to continue to foster their family relationships will benefit from this type of forum. At Family Wealth Coach we believe in the value of structured Family Meetings and would be happy to discuss the nuances with you
