Parent and Boss

In family businesses, clarity of our roles and the willingness to respect those differences is critical to successful succession – or even ongoing operating success.Many families of wealth have family members actively involved in their business. This can have many benefits and some real concerns. What can be especially challenging is the skill that’s required to successfully navigate multiple roles at the same time.For example, in a difficult conversation it can be tempting for a business leader to modify their approach to a situation because they are dealing with their son or daughter. Similarly, it can be easy for a child to expect deferential treatment or even manipulate the emotions of a parent in the business. Or when siblings are in the same business, there can be unnecessary politicking, frustrating differences or unfair alliances that form in the business.Let’s focus, however, on the intersection of Parent and Boss. This can be one of the most difficult tightropes to walk.There are a few skills that make this crossover easier to manage and frankly more functional from a day-to-day perspective. Those skills are Design, Awareness and Declaration.Design – While it’s easy to assume that people (children and others) will understand your dual roles, creating clarity through some simple design is really useful. By Design, we mean having a conversation to make sure people understand that you hold overlapping roles, and that you are also aware that you hold those roles. That conversation can also explain how you’ll deal with business-related issues, and how you’ll deal with family issues.Awareness – The second skill is Awareness. It’s easy to fall into simple patterns of behaviour where we may be applying “boss” approaches when it’s a parenting moment, or “parenting” responses when a business reaction is required. Maintain your awareness by simply asking, “Is this a parenting moment, or a business leadership moment?” That quick check can make a big difference.Declaration – We’re struck by the impact that a simple declaration can make. In a given situation, to simply say, “Ok, we’re going to have a parenting moment here,” or to say, “I have my business hat on right now,” can have an incredible impact. People often adapt quickly and easily to that declaration and it sets your state of mind for the conversation.One other thing to keep in mind is that children may often feel that their parents treat the business as another “child” and sometimes there is competition for attention with it, or jealousy around it. Your sensitivity to that can be disarming and reassuring along the way.Finally, many families have found that when their children have had an experience outside of the family business before joining it, there are stronger reference points for success, easier acceptance by other members of the business, and clearer communication channels because some of the business behaviours have developed outside of the family.When you are the boss-parent, be diligent in your attention to what role you’re using, and aware of how family members are responding to you – work relationships need to be handled through work roles; family issues through family roles.